Empty head!!!

Back from the vacation as yes this sucks..so i am gonna rant here for bit :-)

The holidays were superb and what better than home food and no work to do. Wish i could have more holidays.

During my stay i was pretty disappointed by the display of civic sense by majority of the people. The spending power has increased rapidly in last few years and now more and more people have access to better resources which is very good but may be they have to learn how to keep their feet on the ground. My experience on different counts ranged from funny, scary to disgusting. Indore has changed a lot now..people don't follow rules..do not believe in queues..do not respect others..may be that has to do a lot with people from smaller cities have migrated to Indore..nothing against this..and NO..i am not supporter of Raj Thackrey..but only thing is they have to mix in the city and make it more beautiful rather than breaking rules and make it impossible to live in..or may be..i am used to live in metros..

In a fix right now..have a offer for a very good finance company located in Hyderabad..and in the mean time doing well in current organization, got through a certification course which holds good value..so not sure which one to choose..i might need some advice..the hyd company offer is too good..not sure what to do..

Heard this song..and is in mind from some time now..

Agony!!!

12.30 am now as i stare at the clock right across the hall which seems to be mocking at me. Last 2-3 days have been emotionally draining. I am at my home since a week now and as usual my parents were ready with the list of prospective girls. Home trip was always a relaxing holiday for me but has been more challenging now from last 2-3 occasions. I don't blame my parents but i still feel arrange marriage is not my cup of tea. After giving me a much needed breather i was made to meet a girl with very different name. First look was not very exciting but i have grown from the phase where looks mattered much..i spoke to her and felt she was very smart and spoke well. Her tiring look spoke well about the journey she had in amazing Andamans. My parents were not convinced enough but i insisted to have another meeting..and wanted to know her more. How can you decide something important as this in single meeting? I called her and decided to meet her today. Met her at the CCD where we had very good conversation. She appeared sweet, innocent and friendly. I enjoyed talking to her. I somehow felt i gave her some positive signals but it was more of a friendly talk. I like girls who respond well and have good sense of humour. We had coffee and headed straight to a popular food joint where she saw me gorging on a amazing hotdog (not in literal sense :) but is made out of omelette and bread). She accompanied me in my car where i dropped her back to CCD where she had her vehicle parked. As we waved each other goodbye, i knew everybody back home would be waiting for my reaction..as i drove back..i somehow didn't feel the magic..which i would feel for my prospective bride (the click moment..yes still believe in it). Am i expecting more?

Sorry S....you are very good person and i wish you could remain my friend..you are perfect but may be i am looking for some imperfection to match mine..wish you all the best and happiness..

Tomorrow as my mom would make it official by refusing their proposal my heart would sink..i really hate to say NO..i just cant. May be this is part of the game and have to say NO until its YES..but this game is dirty and i hate it..

Going the Distance!!!

Ok, Changed the blog URL.

Coincidently i watched a movie called as "Going the Distance" which i watched for sole purpose of having Drew Barrymore in it. Big fan..i think she is one of the most beautiful actress in entire Hollywood. Very nice movie, based on long distance relationships and how the "distance" causes problems in a seemingly confident couple.Two highly career oriented individuals in a relationship with a bit of ego are put in such a situation..results mostly in a breakup which actually happened in the movie. In the end, the guy realizes how he can better manage his career and get closer to her lost love whom he was madly in love with.

This story is pretty much similar to my life and sometimes could relate few scenes as well. A must watch for people who are in such relationships. The bottom line here was that someone has to giveup his/her ego and realize that how important it is to be with someone who is everything to you. There can be lot of misunderstandings when there is distance between the two. But you have to learn to trust the person...There are indeed lot of challenges but those need to be overcome with love for eachother. I have learned this hard way.

Happy weeks in progress..after working hard for almost a month, we successfully finished our project and received much deserved appreciation as a team. December is usually lesser work and more fun for almost everyone. Kerela trip on the cards and then finally to Indore for 2 weeks. If everything goes fine..there could be travel during 31st december weekend as well. Looking forward to all these plans..

Leaving with the song from Going the distance:

Happy Diwali

To start with, would like to wish people here a very Happy and Prosperous Diwali. The festival of light, may this diwali vanish all the darkness. Darkness in our thoughts, darkness in our mind and darkness in our life. It is time to shed away all negative thoughts and move with new and positive energy.
Diwali has always been very special festival for me, right from my childhood. My school was very prompt in troubling us with exams all round the year. Diwali vacations were followed by half yearly exams. One of the toughest in our school. So dusshera and diwali vacations were always dreadful for us, we perfectly knew what is in store for us after wonderful vacations. But all this was left behind on the D day of Diwali. Me and my bro used to get up early on the day of Narakchaturdashi and were ready by 7 am. As we were told that those who don't take bath before sun rise goes to Hell, ha ha..funny...
The main attraction was the bag full of crackers..during puja couldn't take my eyes away from them. I was very fond of crackers and couldn't resist my self to start bursting the crackers since morning causing much irritation of our kind neighbours.
Over the years, diwali held a very special place in my heart..i liked evey aspect of it. The lights..the celebrations all around..every one rich or poor celebrates in their most capable ways. Small kids enthusiastic about new clothes and crackers. Meeting friends..visiting them..
As i shifted to different cities for job since last 5 yrs..it is more of get together with my family now. Almost all my relatives are in Indore and we make a point to have a get together during diwali. This is most special since it gives the senseof belongingness (don't know if it is even a word) to me. My parents welcome me like a lost member in the family.. I can see happiness and contentment in their eyes as if they feel their family is complete. The empty chair in the dining table is not empty any more!!!

Yes this time i couldn't go home to celebrate Diwali but i made a point to enjoy here as much as i can. Afterall Diwali is about happiness isn't it? I called all my friends and literally pushed them our of there homes and had a get together at my place. Initially reluctant, all of us got into Diwali mood and in our most childish ways we were bursting crackers, eating sweets and happy to our core. i guess all of us needed that kind of push to be child again and enjoy Diwali. We were up till wee hours and saw the sunrise on the beach (yeah i have to admit..i haven't seen sunrise since a year or two) It was the most blissful thing for me in last few years.

..This "different" Diwali was awesome..will be cherished for quite some time..

Aey Ajnabi..

What a day..left me thrilled..shocked..speechless..all such synonyms of being pleasently surprised. This might sound more of filmy stuff to few..

Rainy night..with light drizzle..clock ticking at 10.30 pm. I was stuck in a meeting and somehow missed my last cab of the day and was running towards the main gate from where the cabs usually leave. Inspite of running hard i lost the cab, and by this time it started raining heavily. I quickly ran for shelter and went below a tata photon shade which was temporarily put by eager salesman in the afternoon. Chennai gets deserted very soon in night specially during rains. I was waiting outside to see if i can get an auto. Suddenly i saw three girls running from same office campus with sharing just one umbrella. Cant blame them, who would have expected such rains after sunny day. They spotted the shade and ran towards it. It was dark and only distant office lights were reflecting on our faces. They were also looking for an auto which seemed an impossible option then. To make matters worse, my mobile battery ran out..which prevented me to call anyone.

One of the girls then popped out her mobile and called someone..was speaking in tamil..must have called someone to pick them up. Taller one among them turned to me and asked if there was an auto stand near by. i could make out she was north indian by her accent. I tried being jolly and told her if there would have one..i would be home by now..but that didn't go too well with her..she was too tensed for some reason. I replied, yes there is one..but there is no auto there. Her friend was trying her best to cheer her up commenting about how safe chennai is usually for girls. Another north indian shocked by chennai during first visit...i smiled.

My office is on the 10th floor in a huge campus which hosts number of IT and elex companies. Probably these were from one of those offices. I spoke to her in hindi and said "Dont worry Chennai sach main safe hai.." she seemed relieved..not sure listening hindi or the comment about chennai being safe.

It was 11 now and there was no sign of auto. We started chatting..she told she is staying in office guest house which is very far..she tried leaving out to search for an auto..she told me..abhi nahi milega to kabhi nahi milega..i stopped her and asked her to wait here and i stepped out..she stopped and asked me to take her umbrella.i smiled.and went out to search for auto..after 15 mins i somehow managed to find one auto..got him and somehow convinced him in triple rate to drop these girls at their homes. Suddenly i saw a car approached at their direction and stopped..i was still away from them...all kinds of thoughts crossed my mind then...as i slowly approached them..i saw those girls move towards the car..the northindian one seemed to wait in the shade. I reached with the auto near the shade and was told by her that one of her colleagues got her father to come and pick them up.

She thanked me for going out in search of auto..i saw her face for the first time in full light of the car, i must say she was very beautiful..i was completely drenched by then forgetting i had umbrella..she smiled and waved at me and what i could hear was Bye..

I stood there speechless as car zoomed past me..my thoughts were interrupted by harsh voice of auto wala blabbering in tamil..i slowly sat in the auto and left. Later i realised i still have her pink umbrella.

Reached home and could only think of one song..

And back!!!

21 days now and back with new post.Feels good to be back..seems like i have been away from ages. Yes i know i promised i will be back every week here writing but blame the untimely death of my dear laptop.One fine night my laptop crashed, with no signs of death it just suddenly crashed. This was something i bought 3.5 yrs back with my own (hard(ly) earned)money :) so had some special feelings attached to it.

Thanks to my office proxy change, i am able to read and write blogs. Such a relief, as i was missing this badly. Lot of updates from my blogger friends so will take some time to read all of them. Lot of things to write as there have been significant updates in my life. Wanted to write a detailed post but have to rush for important assignment now. Still staring at the monitor..cant believe i can access blogs from my workplace.. :):)

Home Alone...

Ok, hell of a week and still one in progress. Week started by lending my laptop to one of my rare relative in Chennai. Yes rare..how do you expect some one from your family to be in remotest place in south? weekend without laptop was horrible, i understood how we are made for each other and how i cant live without it :p but seriously i will have to do something about this addiction. Even i am dead tired, i make a point to login and browse guess have to look for something else. This isn't helping my eyes either :)

Reading "The Greatness Guide" by Robin Sharma..highly recommended.

Time for change of house now. My penny pincher roommate is getting his wife back so will have to shift to other place. I really enjoy how he cribs about everything in life which is related to shelling out some cash..

I had two options..my friends are here who share a 2BHK so they asked me join them or join my distant relative. Second option was out of question..I don't sleep at 10 pm in the night..i sometimes don't come from office by 10 in the night..not only this but there were other reasons as well. Coming back to 1st option..i don't want to become 6th member in 2BHK..i think those days are gone where you were just out of college and sharing the place was fun..but after 5 years 3 months 2 days..i feel i should look for some comfy place..So finalized a decent 2BHK, will be shifting this weekend. Will be staying alone..first time ever..It surely will be exciting, downside is i will have to manage everything by my own. But i guess i am ready for the challenge :)

How do you say NO to a distant relative who takes you for granted for all that they need and do not return the favor? I don't expect any return but a help sometimes would be good..like a help in house hunting. This has been my problem all along..i cannot say NO.

Beautiful rainy morning with a wonderful view of the beach..Clock's ticking for the office..Time to leave the Bed (Or can sleep for 5 mins? )..

Would you Rewind????

Asking you to stay.
The words are finally here.
Let's rewind.
And rewind.
See you're the only star,
In the film I never made.
Would you rewind it all the time?
Rewind it all the time.

In the driveway,
see you pull in.
And my heart stops when you're stalling.
As if the phone rang, and you're calling.
Now you're backing up,
it's a long way out.

I'm asking you to stay.
The words are finally here,
Let's rewind.
Would you rewind it all the time?
See you're the only star in the film I never made.
Would you rewind it all the time?
Rewind it all the time.

Do we make it to the sequel?
A second chance for our survival.
Well we all need a hallmark ending,
And we change your heart.
It's a long way out.
That's what you said.

Would you rewind it all the time?
Rewind it all the time.

I'm asking you to stay,
the words are finally here.
let's rewind.
Would you rewind it all the time?




Heard this "How i met your mother Season 5". Difficult to get this song out of my head. I did not notice this song when i saw this series first couple of months ago. Was flipping through TV channels and stopped on Star world where this serial was on and this song caught my attention. Ted coincidentally goes on the date with same girl after 7 years and wishes to rewind the time and make things right..

We really want to rewind those special moments of our life isn't it? This song brought all those memories back..Wish we would have rewind button in our life..may be we would have cleaned up the mess which had happened :)


Feeling low these days..just want to write more and feel better...

Ciao

God I am not coming to you!!!!

A very hectic week gone by, was attending training over the weekend. Training which wasn't much useful. What a way to ruin the weekend. But this post is not related to my rants. I came across a wonderful article in Sunday TOI. It was under section "Survivor Tales" and was about Sanjay Khan. For people who don't know him, he played Tipu Sultan in his famous serial The Sword of Tipu Sultan. I remember those days when this serial was being telecast on DD. Don't remember the year but could be early 90's. This was the first serial which impressed me because of its action and bravery of Tipu Sultan. We used to imitate Tipu Sultan during Dusshera buying wooden swords and fighting with each other. Coming back to article, Sanjay Khan suffered with accident on the sets of his serial which caused him major injuries. The extent of his injuries could be imagined considering he suffered 65 percent third degree burns, he underwent 72 surgeries and chances of his survival were zero. His heart stopped beating on three of the surgeries.What can keep the man living under this circumstances? He says, willingness and courage was the only way he could have survived this. He used to dictate notes to his nurse about his future plans and dreams. He always wanted to live and always had this feeling rooted deeply in his mind and heart. He used to stare outside the hospital window with firm determination to fly out..

How important it is to think positive isn't it? Its all about what's in your mind and the way it controls almost everything in your life. If things are right and if mind is disturbed, it shows up on you..even though you are physically fit..

He says further how his mind sometimes was stuck by negative thoughts, but seeing a lady in the hospital whose hands and legs were cut in half gave him strength..made him feel thankful for the life he is bestowed with..

We always complain of what we don't have and how our life is miserable without something. But we should consider ourselves lucky and think of those people who are less fortunate and have to work hard and still struggle for basic essentials of life.

Article was concluded with a message: When you are living, don't act dead..LIVE..so true..

Three cheers to such champions of life..

Love Actually!!! -1

Back to the "Love" post..he he..seems like favorite topic for me these days..After a long tiring day..i didn't had anything else to do but watch a movie. I realized i have my friend's DVD with me. The movie titled "Love Actually". Wasn't sure if i should watch this, i am not much into romantic movies i prefer action movies and can watch back to back anyday..but nothing else seemed more interesting then..so i decided to go with it. I was frankly quite surprised by watching this movie.It was different than those traditional Love stories. Somehow makes you believe in love, which can happen to anyone anywhere and anytime...


Love is different at each stage of life isn't it? It has whole lot of different meaning at each stage of your life. While it is innocent,sweet in teens..gets daring, bold and stylish during college and it matures in a way in early and mid twenties. I will talk about my own experiences in this post and other one or two to follow. This is my perspective which i want to write here. I have seen all the three stages now. First two were though were more of infatuation. Blame it to the age ;) when i look at them now..i share a good laugh.

I won't take names here while i write about it but will use random alphabets for their names. This is the first of 2-3 parts(yeah..not many of them :) but enough to make me write here..)


I had my first real crush when i was in class 10th, it was 1998-1999. I couldn't resist looking at her as soon as she entered our classroom. She was new admission in our batch. Tall, long hair..not much but enough to be perfect, big round eyes :). She was tensed as soon as she entered the classroom. Class teacher asked her to introduce herself. She silently stood up and with hesitant voice introduced herself as A. We could sense she was bit uncomfortable with the new environment around with guys staring at her and girls staring with piercing look as to why the boys are staring :) I was impressed by her charm. Later that day as school was finished and all were busy to catch their buses, i secretly went back to class and then to her desk and wrote "Hi and Welcome" on her bench. Not sure if she ever realized it..but this silly thing was heart driven..i still don't understand why i did that.. he he..

In following days..she was suddenly hot topic for all the guys. Look on girls faces was worth looking. It was not that they were not pretty but suddenly they had new entrant in their kingdom who could dethrone them :) from their years of rule.

Days went by and one saturday i took courage of speaking to her. It was nothing much but asking for her classwork notebook. I remember when i first spoke to her my heart went crazy..i had no idea what did i say to her or what was her response..my mind just went blank..my friends still laugh about it whenever we remember those days. Slowly our friendship grew. We exchanged phone numbers and started talking over the phone..

I was passionate about being a cricketer back in those days and was seriously preparing for school cricket tournament with my team. I was fielding on the boundary in the middle of a hot day, i noticed group of girls near our ground. Suddenly one girl broke the group and came towards me..she was "A", my heart was unstoppable..she came near me and wished me luck for the match. I was on top of the world..i couldn't believe my ears and wanted to rewind that moment again and again..those small but special moments are so important..when you know you have a different feeling for someone..

I couldn't understand this feeling but then i realized i was in "Love". I guess it was more of infatuation then but the feeling was strong. Suddenly i could feel her in all the songs i used to hear. DDLJ songs always topped my list. Boyzone and Backstreet boys were "in" those days. I used to write her name at the back of my notebook..We used to speak for hours daily without a break..I recently learnt how to drive a scooter..most of my rounds were in and around her house which was almost 10kms from my house..but these things didn't matter. My friends convinced me to express my feelings to her. Friends were such a influence those days..

I expressed my feeling almost after 4 months of our friendship over the phone. She asked me to meet behind our school canteen..I was bit surprised and nervous as to why..during our lunch break i promised her to meet there. Since no one was allowed to go there, i sneaked through the back door and was waiting for her..after 20 mins i saw her coming towards me..my heart was pounding..i didn't know what would be her reaction..will she be furious and wont talk to me again? or will she complain to my principal..i had thousands of such questions..Here she came..and...


More to follow!!!

And Again!!!!

Its 2:03 am on the clock and i should be sleeping..but sleep is far from my eyes. My mind is blank..no thoughts whats so ever..Some thing is hurting me within..what? i don't have any clue..It seems i am living a dubious life..life for others..for my family..friends..cousins..relatives..since when in last few years i have lived for myself? Few years ago i lived on pleasing someone..later my family..then my colleagues at work..now my friends..Weekends are nothing more than compulsive time being spent with people, who need a company. I am used as a scapegoat at work..as crowd within friends..as timepass with few relatives. I don't know if i am even making some sense here..but i want to change all this. I want to live for myself for sometime..be "Rohan" for sometime now.I have never said "No" to anyone, for anything..but now the time has come to finally do what i want..to live life on my own terms..to do what i like..to have some peace.

Worked today..even though there was holiday for us..just because a lady colleague couldn't work at the weekend. Who else could fill in the spot? Rohan..why? he is free on weekend..why? He is a bachelor and stays 1300kms away from his place..so is always available on weekends..what?????? Are you kidding me?

I am always spreading happiness all around..i am never sarcastic..never bitter to people around me..regardless from what i feel within...but i never got a return in my favor. This makes me think that is it something wrong which i do? Should i be selfish as others?

I remember last year same time i was slogging at the office in Bangalore working day n night for 3 months on a migration project alone..my client didn't had money to pay us for that job..but as a good will i still finished the job convincing my manager. I had suffered hand injury from my road accident during that time..but i still finished the job on time..i am yet to hear a "ThankYou" for that job..leave alone a "Well Done" email. I can't help but smile when i visit their website.

What do you do when you face such situations? I miss a friend..i lost one this year..wish i could have one to talk. Feel helpless..feel terrible..

I am fooled yet again today..something about which i cannot even write here...but not anymore..i wont change my ways but i will not allow anyone to take advantage of me..This is new me from NOW...

:):)

Weeks are getting crazier for me than they used to ..nice isn't it? When do we have weeks which we call "different" than previous ones? I am drifting away from boring weekends i used to have for quite sometime.

I have three things which are most important to me as of now..my family, my work and my mean machine 200cc bike. Anything bad with one of these pisses me big time and drives me crazy until and unless i fix the problem. Luckily the first two are doing good but my bike has been suffering lately. Mostly because i don't get to drive much since i take a cab to office, considering i still have "KA-03" flashing on the number plate but more importantly chennai's horrible climate. Week started with fixing my bike..my struggle on monday and tuesday finally showed results and now the machine is alive and kicking :) I know, this might sound odd to people reading this but i truly love my bike from heart. It's my passion..it is my real stress buster..and holds special place in my heart for other reasons as well.

Wednesday and Thursday were dull..i had caught cold and had fever so took off for a day. My first sick leave this year. I hate to stay at home when i just have to confine within boundaries of my bed. So i thought of utilizing most of my time on social networking sites..Fb and other social networking sites are really amazing..i spotted my friend with whom i didn't speak from last 10 years..he was a school friend but we lost contact since he left school..spoke to him for 2 hrs and relived all those great moments..Three cheers to Fb.

Friday..my favorite day of the week..was as usual full of energy and enthu..i love fridays..gives you a feeling that the weekend has already started. Office was brighter with no boring formals and looked good that day..wish we didn't had a dress code..although i don't follow that. I remember my bangalore days when we used to spend fridays at TGIF or Take5. TGIF!!! love the name..so true..left the office early and went straight to Nissan showroom for a Nissan Micra test drive..wow i was impressed..wonderful car with great engine..definitely on my top 5. I am a shahrukh khan fan so was inclined towards i10 but this one tops the chart. Sorry Shahrukh..Ranbir has a better choice :) Car is in my wishlist for 2011..hopefully my ever depreciating bank balance would allow me to have one. My secret wish is to have this Yamaha bike which is 1000+ cc bike..which would cost around 20lakhs :):)..one day..one day..

Saturday was rainy day in Chennai..Rains..what is so special in rains which bring smile to our face? It means different to different people. Some like to enjoy rains sitting at their homes sipping a cup of tea and hot bhajias..(I love this...)...some prefer hotter drinks :), but for me its all about long drives..i love to go out in rain with group of very good friends to near by good spots..i prefer to go on a bike than a car..with rain drops splashing on the face..this feeling is unmatched..tonight i returned from my friends place at 12 in the night..it was dark and raining heavily..needless to say there was not much traffic and i could drive fast in the rains..just as i like..wow..still could feel that adrenaline rush!!!

Saw this wonderful song..i would love to go on a ride like that with my future gf/wife :)






Wanted to write something serious this week..but leaving it for the next time..Thank u rain..

Nothing..

Down with fever for 2 days now, thanks to my constant sneezing cube partner..doesn't cover her face as well while sneezing which helped my long time bacteria/virus friends to enter my body...grrrrrr.

Thinking of taking an off tomorrow. Don't like medicines in any form..now have to ask someone to get me few..6 months now, i had anything like this..so no medicines in stock..

Lot of things need to be fixed in my life..1st is health..

Will be back with more as i get better..

Sneezing/Coughing,
-Rohan

Blabber...

Back from Holidays to Chennai..seems like unknown place to me after 10 fun filled days in Indore. On last week's Tuesday I was back in office and seemed like new place, new bay, new colleagues, even forgot my computer's password :) . When you face such condition it is a very clear sign that you have to take vacations more often.

1400 emails kept flashing in my outlook, took 2-3 hrs to skim through and delete most of them :) Following days helped me catchup the pending work and last minute issues. Worked my a$$ off this weekend to get this release done. In the end it was satisfying after 3 months of sheer hard work.

Today i didn't feel like going to office..trust me there are very few days when i would feel something like this..so went by 12. Bunked office to catch a movie lafangey Parinde at 6.30 pm. It was fun bunking the office after long time for a movie..reminded me of college days where me and one of my best friends first bunked college right in first semester and went for a movie escaping boring Electrical lecture..god..those were the days..

Nothing much to write for this week, except i feel more lonely these days than i have felt ever. I am not of those types who would have girlfriends all the time, nothing against them though. But i have always looked for serious relationships rather than flirty flings. It has to "Click"..for me when i see HER, it usually is love at first sight..however looking at the past now it seems a bad idea :) but cant help it..this is how it happened..this is how it will happen. This is very strange..not sure why it happens, why it happened..but it surely is best feeling one can ever have..

Wow i am writing about love..cant believe music can make you such things as well :) Randomly heard a soothing from Atif Aslam "Chupke se aaye, yaad teri yaha...sirf main jaanu tu hai kaha kaha..hawa tum nasha tum..meri rahton ka pata tum...kyu chodh gaye rasten..kabhi saath chale the jinpe.."

Past surely helps you to have different perspective on what you are looking for in another person.

I miss those times, someone to share my most of the time, someone to be with when whole world seems hell to you, to stare in those eyes and see love in them, to hold those hands and feel on top of the world, to have those walks on the beach, to talk on phone all night....everything..I wonder if i would end up single my whole life..but i watched one my favorite comedy series lately called as "How i met your mother" where Ted was being told.."there is always someone for you who is coming as fast as she can towards you..there is nothing you can do but wait for her"..so here i am..WAITING....

Selfless love!!!

Ok, second post in a week not bad..had lot of leisure time this week which wasn't put to anything productive :) . Since i took a week off from my work I decided not to touch my laptop and stay away from Internet for a week..but i think i am too addicted to stay away from it. Read some awesome blogs, went on shopping spree(although i hate it), took my family out on dinner twice along with a movie. Tomorrow planning to go on a picnic with my whole khaandaan. Monday will end my good times at home..and will be heading back to chennai, back to work :(

Blogging..Only reason i turned to blogging was to write my heart out and make some great friends..
this is the true reflection of what i am, what i feel and what i think..which is why it says "This is me.." so my posts could get bit personal at times..Can't help.
I wanted to write today on something which was due from long. My parents..my mom and dad. Everyone love their parents and think them as the best among the best. I am also lucky to have blessed with my mom and dad. Perfect in every sense.There are some things which you cannot express in words to your parents..things which you feel from your heart..

I sometimes wonder how can parents love their children unconditionally? Their love is pure, not based on how you look, what you do..always concerned about you, your well being..willing to make sacrifices and compromises to make you and your life better. Your happiness makes them forget their worries and make them happy. When you are upset or sad..they get more sad and constantly try to make things better for you.

We always look upto our parents and get their qualities directly or indirectly. I learnt the importance of hard work, patience and perseverance from my father. He has seen tough times in his early days which i think has made him strong and now hold the qualities which i admire most. I respect him most. When he is out on tour, his presence is missed badly..and when he gets back home..a sense of relief can be sensed amongst us. Dad..i cannot say this to you directly..but i love you..take care of yourself as you are very precious for us.

My mom..she compliments my dad perfectly. She is extremely kind hearted, loving, vocal about what she feels, a great cook :). She is always worried about her children's health and proposes home made techniques to help us survive :) She is smart, pays attention to details which is quite unbelievable. Each time when i come home on Holidays she has list of things to give to me to carry back, prepares my favorite dishes to make sure i gain lot of weight :) which kinda compensates for my home-food deprived stay away from home. Stays till late in night and chats on all the topics, my investment plans, job, friends....and the list goes on..She is someone who is so important that i cannot imagine my home without her..even a single day..i remember once she had to be admitted to hospital few years back..and our house was incomplete..we were incomplete.
My mom and dad never questioned me ever since i turned 16. They gave me the complete freedom to act on my own will. My school was fees was quite high as it was among the best schools in Indore, but they never complained. They wanted to provide me best of the best education possible. Gave me everything i desired for. I don't remember even a single instance where i heard a NO from them. When i got into Engineering college, the fees was reasonably high but they never gave a second thought. I spent lot of money during my college but they never resisted..There are scores of instances which i can quote..

Now me and my brother by their grace and hardwork are well settled in our professions. My wish now is to ask my dad and mom to relax and let us serve them. Let them enjoy the life without worrying about anything. This is another reason why i want to work in a location closer to Indore. My long term wish is to take my family out on long holiday preferrably outside India. The most beautiful place which i have seen in my life is Scotland..may be i would take them there one day..
I don't think i have enough words to write more on them..but just wanna thank god for making me the lucky i am..thank my mom and dad for who they are..

Home Sweet Home...

"I am going home!!!" I had to wait for 6 months to utter these 4 most satisfying words. Yes its been 6 months now i have been to Indore, my hometown. Last weekend, finally i reached Home!! the journey wasn't too much of a fun but the excitement of being at home subdued everything. Since i switched my first company S, this is my first leave. i dont like taking unnecessary leaves, i love my job (Yes i do ;-) ) and like to spend time in office.
I was bit lucky to get 6 days leave at this time because we were up for a release in second week of august and to make matters worst my team lead was on paternity leave. But luckily the release was postponed for a week and my leave was approved. I really wanted some time off to charge my batteries, away from work, office, people, chennai :) and almost everything. And here i am now with my near and dear ones. I strongly believe if you really want something from your heart, the closed doors somehow open up for you. This has proved right this time once again. Coming home always bring me back the memories of 2005-06-07 . Still not over them i guess. I have been emotionally strong all along only when i am job less (well not literally :) ) i tend to ponder over my past and all the things flash in my head. I wonder if this happens to others as well???? Not sure if it is even worth writing about this.
Happened to watch Aisha this sunday, i am a movie buff and i love watching movies, but this movie was a complete crap and Abhay Deol one of my favorite actor is criminaly wasted. Not sure why this movie was made.

For a change now i am chilling whole day at home and enjoying the food festival which usually starts whenever i visit home. Sadly no friends are in indore at the moment. Another relief this time is there are no marriage proposals waiting for me so i can freely be at home unlike last time. I can walk infront of my mom with a huge grin on my face and i can see her discomfort of not having enough aces in her deck. So until next time i can breath freely. I am not against marriage but i dont think this is the way some one should get married. People should like each other before deciding to spend rest of the lives with each other. But who knows Life is uncertain and never fails to throw surprises at you.
Until next time..
Ciao,
Rohan

Extremes of Tranquility

What a Weekend!!! I have spent around 3 years in Chennai not continously though(yeah hard to believe isnt it...) but this was my first trip to Pondichery..i know its shocking, because people rush to this beautiful city as soon as they visit/relocate to chennai. My case is different, pondi someway or the other went off my plans.

Thanks to my cousin and his wife, last weekend i finally made it. Hired a cab and three of us started our journey at 7.30 am in the morning. Not used to wake up this early but the excitement of this trip made my morning start at 6.30 am. Everything was planned, since it was a single day visit we wanted to cover all the places without spending much time at a single spot. Reached pondy at around 11 am. Started with Aurobindo ashram, which has lot of followers across the globe. Wanted to know more about it, so thought should be the good place to start with. As soon we entered, i was amazed by the peaceful environment in the ashram and the sense of satisfaction which was easily visible. we were there for sometime and cant express the feeling i had when i was about to leave that place. Yes..Silence does wonders...In all Place worth visting..French influence could be seen all around the place, which is worth watching..Didn't expect this could be in India..
Next we made our way to Rock beach, where sea waves splashing on the black rocks makes a spectacular view. Beautiful weather added its charm. Wish the beach could be bit cleaner but overall it was good. A glimpse can be seen in the attached pics. Walked around the beach for a while, posing and clicking pics. 1 pm at the watch and so the time for some good lunch. Had great chinese food in a restaurant called as bamboos. Among the trees we had our lunch which was quite filling. After relaxing for sometime, we wanted to head towards Auroville but were disappointed to learn that it was closed for the day. Didn't expect it would be closed on Sunday.
Next we headed towards a place called as "Paradise beach". Heard a lot about it from my friends who had been there. As soon as we reached there, we could figure out why this place is called as paradise. There was a 15min boat ride to a island which was surrounded by sea with golden sand at its shores. With sun struggling to peek from dark clouds and golden sand made that place look beautiful. I couldn't resist and went straight into the water. Waves were higher than usual that day which made the place irresistable. I am more of a beach person than mountains and somehow i have tolerated Chennai just for its beach. yeah i know makes little sense..but thats the way it is. Played on the beach for around 3hrs, and at last we had to come out since it was getting dark. When we came out we came out quite refreshed and full of energy. Paradise beach made our trip memorable. By 11 we reached Chennai..and wow..what a way to end a perfect weekend. Sometimes you need such getaways from your routine life to come back in full swing..recharged...but more so the peace and tranquility we experienced will be with us for quite some time.
Ciao,
Rohan

Crazy week!!!

Its been a crazy week at the office. Closing in on 1st independent release and lot of unwanted issues creeped up. Nothing new in this but these could have been avoided just needed better management of time and resources. Manager is a nice guy but seems to be right person at the wrong place. New to his role as a manager and hence still needs to get acquainted to tricks of the trade :). Needless to say requires support of his team, higher management and onshore which he lacks bigtime. I being oldest member of his team can see his painful eyes whenever a blasting email reaches our mailbox. He just has to speak up to those people who are more or less responsible for this. May be this is the only way to treat rather than screwing them up during performance review.

I wonder how few people run from their responsibilities and still manage to sleep peacefully at night??? How can people be so thick skinned??? My team unfortunately has such annoying people who at the critical stage take leaves just because they are married or have plans. WTH??? Nobody likes to work more than 9 hours but when it is needed i think we should not run away, just because you are being paid only for "9" hrs.
I agree that we have life outside office and we should not be in the office for more than 9 hours and should spend more and more time with our friends/family. But if this is the case, why not spend 9 hours working and finishing your job in time so that you wont have to spend even an extra minute in office. In IT it is difficult as lot of dependency is on Onshore counterparts but i think still can be managed.

I was a victim this week where i paid the price of finishing my work before time only to get additional work which was supposed to be completed by a lady who is infamously know for delegating her work to others. Me who never manage to say "NO"(don't know why) was an easy prey for her. It makes sense if she has some personal issues to look into and is acceptable once, twice but definately not every time.
As a result I have been working late nights this week only finding myself in the deeper sh** of code which makes no sense. Lot of cleanup is required which needs time which we don't have. Good news is we made some progress today which should buy us sometime till next week.

I have had an opportunity to work closely with my previous client in UK for some time and one thing i admired most was punctuality and seriousness for work. They work hard and party hard on weekends. I think this is how it should be..


Anyway..another busy weekend for me. Bangalore visit was great. Had good time with friends.Much needed change.
Now My Cousin is here in Chennai for a week so will be travelling to pondicherry and Mahabs. Chennai has only a beach which fascinates people..same in Mahabs and P'Cherry. So in all a wet weekend for me :)

2 am on the clock, peace in my mind (after all the ranting here :) another reason to continue blogging), Limp Bizkit's Behind blue eyes playing on my Laptop...its time to crash.

Goodnight..

Rohan

Bangalore Calling...

Ok, so as promised to myself..i am trying to be regular on this blog..Happening week till now..was sad my Pulsar 200cc had some troubles early this week..but now all sorted..i absolutely love this piece of machine and feel down when something goes wrong with it. Love driving my bike specially on the road along the beach..a real stressbuster for me..i may get a car one day but my bike will always be special for me..
Office is more fun this week. Work is going great, ahead of schedule and my manager is pretty relaxed which is very rare and i surely dont mind that ;-)
Plans for this weekend are looking good..Will be travelling to Bangalore with couple of friends to chill..3 months now and i cant resist being there. I absolutely love that city, specially the crowd people from all walks of life, vibrant and fun loving. Majority being from IT..i can relate to them in a way. Bangalore introduced me to some wonderful hangout places like Hardrock cafe, purplehaze, 13th floor. Had good time with my friends and loved ones there. Will live those moments again this weekend. Will be staying with V and R. Both have been my best friends in Bangalore. V is relaxed and chilled out while R his fiance is like a breath of fresh air, always upto something and is our official event manager. Looking forward for some good time,
Will be leaving from office a bit early to gear up for bangalore trip. Also have to prepare for a presentation on Friday where i will be representing my organisation to new joinees. Pretty excited..well honestly more to awesome dinner which will be hosted after the event ;-)

Will post the updates next week. Till then..
Ciao,
Rohan

Hate love storys?? Give a thought...

Ok, This is not inspired by Imran Khan-Sonam Kapoor flick..which sadly is a mediocre movie with good songs. Anyway i am not reviewing the movie now, this would take a different post altogether ;).
I dont think i hate love storys, i like them, i have liked them, lived them but my past isn't very satisfying and sometimes i think is it my cup of tea even???
When your past relationship doesn't workout, and after sometime (may be yrs depending on the emotion levels) when you are bit over it you tend to analyse why it didnt't work after all. Biased analysis wouldn't help which generally takes place every moment after the so called "break up". I am well passed the biased and unbaised stage now. Its been over 2 years now, i am still in touch with her as a good friend and she is married, happily i wish. Coming back to unbiased analysis, i think it is most important since it gives you points to ponder on which you otherwise would never care to give a thought. You understand your strengths, your comfort zone and how well you handle the situation when you are no more into it. You get the situations where you should not have taken that extreme step but would have given another chance. 99.99% relationships do not end on a sweet/positive note. There are always grudges, negative feelings no matter still how much you love that person. But sometime down the road you mature over it and analyse. I have analysed time and again, now there is no reason to think about it but when you are lonely and likely to go in marriage bond in coming months, these thoughts cross again. May be it is like " Once bitten twice shy" kind of mind frame for me where i do not want to screw up things because of my past mistakes.
I can very well relate this situation with my job where the code review result isnt very good and you are asked to review and fix again. No matter how annoying it is, but you get to learn a lot from this and see your mistakes clearly. Same as happened to me and i can say i have never repeated the same mistakes again (although made new ones ;-)......)
Ok, i think i have wrote enough on this. Beautiful sunday evening, time to go out. Wanting to buy a pair of jeans from quite some time now, hopefully tonight is the night.
Until next time..
Ciao,
Rohan

And i come back..

Back to this blog after almost 7 months. Always wanted to write my heart out here but somehow could never make it. Call me lazy..which i think i am :) better late than never is my motto ;)
The very first time i saw my cousin blog, i was very impressed with the way this works. They called it Blogosphere..You reach out to people with your thoughts...and well yes pour all you want here without thinking it twice :) On a serious note it is great way to share your views on politics, Sports, day to day happenings, rants, fights....and the list continues.
Funny reads really cheer you up when you have a bad day at office, and lastly you tend to make great friends here which otherwise are difficult to meet due to either different workbackground or location.
I am happy i could make it back here even though i lost lot of time, but i hope to make up for it in coming days..
Ciao,
Rohan